The Other Things You Hear at Bisco


Back by overwhelming demand (seriously guys, thanks so much for your support on our first shot at this type of article), we bring to you part two of the most ridiculously hilarious things heard and said at Camp Bisco ’15. In this addition, two friends from the lineup, Zoogma & Kung Fu, provided the Sound Fix camp with their favorite lines from their experiences at Bisco ’15. Without further ado, enjoy some Bisco tunes and comedy, and as always, share away.

“I was so badly trying to find a new spoon at Bisco and only like two vendors had them. When I found one and was purchasing it the vendor told me they don’t showcase them because the security came over and asked why they have such tiny spoons and her response was, ‘I just love eating my cheerios one at a time.’ …EPIC.”

“Dude it’s way too early to start doing K. It’s 10:30 AM on a Thursday.”

“Friday night after Big G’s set I was walking to the wave stage and I heard these two guys talking. Dude 1 goes out of nowhere, ‘Yo, if we were to have a threesome tonight, let’s just say my dick would accidentalllllyyyy touch your dick.” Dude 2 replies with, ‘Let’s just say if that happens I would accidentallyyyy suck your dick bro.’ Needless to say I was laughing my ass off!”

“Fuck it, it’s Bisco.”

PRETTY LIGHTS – “Camp Bisco, I’m inside of you right now…” Crowd nervously chuckles, looks at their homie to the right, then says “Fuck it, it’s Bisco,” and continues raving.

kungfusquote The Other Things You Hear at Bisco

“My girlfriend and I were walking around between the Biscuits sets on Friday asking everyone that walked by, ‘Do you guys know if the Nabisco Triscuits are coming on? I heard they’re really good, like they should have their own festival.’ It was incredibly fun and it got some spunions so hard they ended up hanging out with us the rest of the night.”

“We had glow in the dark bubbles that spilled all over the ground during Jauz. My friend then sat on the ground forgetting it was there, then got up and asked me, ‘Is my ass glowing?'”

“Me: ‘Can I borrow a light?’ Girl on ground: ‘giggle waaa? giggle giggle’ Me: ‘A lighter…please?’ Girl on ground: ‘STOP , I JUST FOUND THE MEANING OF EVERYTHING giggle giggle.'”


“I found a dildo on the hill after Tipper and when I asked about it a group of guys came running over looking for it. They wanted that dildo reallll bayd.”

********Now, for Zoogma’s favorite quote, you have to watch the video below, and skip to 5:50 to understand its hilarious meaning.*********

zoogmaquote The Other Things You Hear at Bisco


“I’ve got bad advice for one dollar! One dollar!”

“That’s how you get ants dude.”

“Saw a kid talking into a banana as if it was a phone saying, “WHAT!? MOM I CANT HEAR YOU I’M AT CAMP BISCO!”

“I saw a group of peeps wearing banana suits, one bigger than the others. Me being super fucked up I said to my buddy, ‘That’s a biiiggg bannana.'”

“Homie A: ‘Rent my flesh light for a dollar, no cleaning necessary!’ *fleshlight in hand*
Homie B: ‘Is that your moms pro model?!'”

“We had a limbo with a flesh light attached to a pole and we made people lick that shit as they limboed. There were Pringles and wine stuffed inside, who knows if it was used that weekend. Now that’s some headie pussy!”


“Double rainbow! Double rainbow! FUCK THE OTHER GUY, I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS! Nectar has landed…he’s here friends.”


“I saw this girl walking around the campsite, finger banging herself screaming “BILL COSBY?! WHERE ARE YOU BILL COSBY!?”

“Someone was fucking in the porta potty next to me.”

“Nuddling not permitted.”

“I don’t want to miss Bassnectar’s set, but I finally have to poop and the bass is pushing it out!!!”

“As I’m walking by the vendor he says, ‘Girl you know you want some of this food!’ I respond,
‘I do, but I can’t poop while I’m on drugs, and I don’t want to spend my Bisco constipated!’ He earnestly appreciated the honesty.”

“From the dreaded wook princess twerking on the ground at 5am: ‘I was actually a stripper at a black club in the south….and then I passed my boards last week and now I’m a nurse..shit saved my life..multiple times.'”

“You have died of dysentery.”

massedmc The Other Things You Hear at Bisco Photo credit to Adam Straughn: and our friends at

“I heard ‘My entire vagina was hanging out and I had no idea’ by the rent-a-Johns.”

“Security guard to tripping Nectar fans on the stone wall: ‘Get off the wall! Snakes have been biting people’s legs all weekend up there.’ You can imagine the reactions.”

“Rolling rock is water where as Goose Island is beer. I need water. Not beer. You see?”

“Some dude tumbled down the slope over one of our tents and goes, ‘Sorry guys! I accidentally dropped 50 hits of L into my mouth.’ He spilled a bottle in his mouth… BUT HOW DOES THAT EVEN ACCIDENTALLY HAPPEN?!”

“You realize we PAID for this right? I’m here, sitting in a ditch, after hiking up this insanity… And I gave someone a few hundred dollars to do it…. At least I’ve got my Ditch Friends!”

“*Bane voice* ‘You have merely adapted to the ditch….IIII WAS BORN INTO IT!'”

“Saw some dudes rolling raisin bagels down the slope seeing how far they can get them to go. I was dead.”

“Take me back to the green portal it was beautiful.”

“I covered some eggs in dirt so they blended in the rock path, then watched from my tent as people stepped on them.”

“I prefer uppers to downers.”

“Mommy come pick me up.”

“HOW THE FUCK DID I GET ALL THESE BRUISES?! I blame Montage Mountain.”

“During Trippy Turtle’s set randomly Trippy screams, ‘9 plus 10 equals 21, LEHHHTSGOOOO!'”

“If anyone was asked to ‘show us your Weiner for $1’ in Y camp that was my crew. My dude got paid out a couple times, too.”

“Heard a vendor say, ‘Ay kids, we’ve got the world record for the longest human centipede back here.'”

“I need an adult!!”

“Some guy was standing in line by me and said to his friend ‘Dude do you wanna just wear my shoes instead?’ I turned and looked at his shoes out of curiosity and they were wearing the same exact shoes.”

“*looks in the mirror* ‘Am I Bisco enough yet?!'”

“My friend to a random sunburnt stranger: ‘What’s your favorite color?’ Stanger: ‘Tomorrow.'”

“heRobust screaming: ‘JUST DOO ITT!!'” (check out our heRobust interview, conducted yesterday, at this link).

herobust The Other Things You Hear at Bisco heRobust getting grilled in the face with the legendary Shia totem, screaming “JUST DO IT!”

So there you have it, the final edition of this year’s “Things You Hear at Bisco.” Please do comment or send an email to if you think you deserve to be in this article. Stay tuned next year for funnier quotes, and hopefully better memories. If you’re looking for another festival to build on Bisco’s momentum and mementos, join us at this year’s Backwoods Pondfest in Peru, NY. Tickets are only $75 for two days of camping, friends and music. Tickets here, playlist here, Facebook group here.

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